Bob and I had camper breakfast Wednesday morning and parted ways.
I left Canyon de Chelley with the intention of camping one more night, but with only a five-hour drive, I just went back to my cottage. I spent the next couple of days cleaning out my camper and truck, sweeping red dust from crevices, and throwing away accumulated trash.
Most trips don’t have an epiphany, an “aha! moment, and I figured this month wouldn’t be an exception. But I had hoped. There was no epiphany, nor “aha!” moment, only the knowledge of time passing, my own perseverance, and how little the Earth cares about our little whims and wishes.
It’s weird being back. I don’t want to be here, but it also feels like I never left. I’m not sure what that is, but I do know that the dread I had on my drive back solidifies something I’d been waffling over.
It’s time to change direction. Roll the dice.